As many Star Wars fans know, Jedi are able to manipulate the force in many ways.  One of those ways is using the force to move extremely fast: force speed they call it.  The climactic three-way (hot) battle from The Phantom Menace would have been a perfect time for Obi-Wan Kenobi to use the force in such a way.  Sadly, he didn’t, and Darth Maul had his way with Qui-Gon Jinn.  But what if Obi-Wan had used force speed?

I’m trying to think of a way to include more sexual innuendo in this post, but I’m drawing a blank.  Something, something… double-sided lightsaber.  This stuff writes itself!