Top Ten Characters From 20 Years of The Simpsons: Part Two

Before the holidays I embarked on the perilous journey of choosing the ten ‘greatest’ Simpsons characters from the show’s last 20 years, not including the principle family itself.  Check selections 10 through 6 out here.  A perfectly cromulent list thus far, if I do say so myself.  The final five are even harder to decide upon because they have to stand above those already mentioned.  No easy task.  Without further ado, here are the Top 10 Simpsons characters part 2, numbers 5 to 1.  I make no apologies this time!  After all, I voted for Kodos.

5. Krusty the Clown: Many original writers’ favorite, Krusty is an even greater schmaltz than Troy McClure – but for entirely different reasons.  He is certainly the worst possible character to be a child’s role model (with the possible exception of Mr. Burns) and a biting take on every Hollywood icon whose behind-the-scenes life is nothing short of pathetic.  Krusty is at his best when he is forgetting who Bart is (another similarity to Burns), selling out and then blowing the money, or tormenting his sideshow performers.  And let us not forget that it is Krusty who brings us the glory that is Itchy & Scratchy.  You know Krusty is a great character when the animators can leave him in his clown makeup and outfit for the entire tenure of the show and yet he fits in perfectly with the rest of a Simpsons mob.  It becomes hard to recognize that at any given time he’s still wearing clown fatigues.  Though no Simpsons character should ever have a spin-off of any kind, Krusty the Clown would be my choice if someone put a gun to my head.  If anyone could get the Red Hot Chili Peppers to change their lyrics, it’s the purveyor of Krusty Home Pregnancy Kits. Read the rest of this entry »

Top Ten Characters from 20 Years of The Simpsons: Part One

With The Simpsons’ 20-year anniversary having been on December 18^th, you would think that I would make two top 10 lists, but alas my list formats were made to be followed and ten is still a perfectly cromulent number.  After all, being 20 years old isn’t what makes The Simpsons great, its many instances of greatness do.  Of those there are surely more than twenty.  While other soft news locales are writing impacting diatribes about the show’s lasting effects on a generation, I want to take it another direction and celebrate those who have helped our beloved farce of an American family reach this milestone.  Part One of my top 10 will consist of characters 10-6, with Part Two concluding after the holidays.

Watching The Simpsons you come to love the iconic and dysfunctional family, but you also come to love Springfield, from the Tire Dump to the Nuclear Power Plant.  A cast of well-over 100 supporting characters was born in this town, a great many of which helped carry the comedy load while the show successfully bridged four decades.  From the exhausted staff under Principal Seymour Skinner at Springfield Elementary to the grossly inadequate police forces of Chief Clancy Wiggum, Groening and company concocted a bevy of characters so fantastic they can dominate a joke, a scene, or even an entire episode.  Here are the top 10 neighbourhood characters from 20 years of The Simpsons and the episodes that made them great (if I forget your favourite, *annoyed grunt*) :

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Futurama is Back, Baby

The crew reacts to the news of their impending return.

YOU READ IT. YOU CAN’T UNREAD IT.

The cast of Futurama has officially re-signed for a new 26 episode season.  I came across this recent development through my friend Rob Salem, the Toronto Star’s TV critic and my former professor.  As expected, the talks have quickly (though not without trepidation, methinks) come to fruition for both sides, though apparently the voice actors will be receiving less scratch.  My hero David X Cohen (the man who coined the term “cromulent”) and some guy named Matt Groening who, I guess, works in the art department, had this to say:  “We are thrilled to have our incredible cast back. The call has already gone out to the animators to put the mouths back on the characters.”  Ha-ha, I get it.

No more bad news, please! Roll out the episodes before we suffer a fate worse than death — pre-life!

Then death.

Futurama IV: A New Hope

When it comes to Futurama junkies, I can out-bend most.

At the risk of sounding like a total dork, a risk I am all too willing to take, I am currently ranked 4th out of 66483 people at Futurama trivia on Facebook.  Suffice to say I have a keen interest in the latest news coming out of California regarding 20^th Century Fox’s call for re-casting the four principal Futurama actors: Billy West, Katey Sagal, John DiMaggio, and Maurice LaMarshe.

Futurama voice actor avatars: John DiMaggio (Bender), Billy West (Fry), and Katey Sagal (Leela).

I shouted “Wimmy-wam-wam-wazzle!” when I heard that Comedy Central was putting the show back on the air.  It’s my favorite, and like many fans, I felt evil TV executives put the show in an early grave.  Possibly next to John Laroquette’s spine.  The four straight-to-DVD movies were quite admirable – retaining the quirks and attention to detail, if not quite the same amount of funny – but nothing is quite like putting the whole shebang back in production.

This is a big deal to me.  Quite literally, it’s like watching your favorite child come back to life.  You’re bursting with love, but also kinda nervous that the end result will be some bastardized brainless automaton of what you once cherished most.  That said, in short order the issue at hand should be resolved. How so?  To me, there are three primary indicators: Read the rest of this entry »

My Little Pony Live-Action Film Trailer

With live-action iterations of Transformers and G.I. Joe both hitting theatres this summer, it’s easy to forget the other 1980’s cartoon/toy-line adaptation that will be coming to a theatre near you in the coming months.  I am of course referring to My Little Pony: Reign of Buttercup Sprinkles.

What a delicious little send up of Michael Bay and company.  Sadly this is not a real film(SHOCK!), but in a few years when the studios start to run out of 1980’s kids cartoons to defile, I’m sure we’ll eventually see a My Little Pony movie.

Star Trek Review

As a life long Trekkie, I went into the new J.J. Abrams Trek reboot/sequel with my expectations set to stun—fearing that if I set them to kill I would end up vapourizing myself… whatever that means.  Phaser analogy aside, I knew that J.J Abrams’ vision of Star Trek would be different from that of its original creator Gene Roddenberry. This Star Trek isn’t Roddenberry’s Star Trek; it is a familiar and yet altogether different beast. Many of Roddenberry’s hallmarks remain intact and for better or worse Abrams makes Trek his own with this film. Abrams’ Star Trek is cool, it’s sleek and it’s shiny, but I don’t know if that was what Star Trek was ever about.

Full review after the break. Possible spoilers to follow. Read the rest of this entry »

G.I. Joe: Resolute soon available in Canada

The new animated G.I. Joe mini-series, G.I. Joe: Resolute, has been released and is available online—in the United States. A few clips have made their way onto YouTube, but these are not official and may be taken down. Canadians may have to wait to see the series’ official premiere on TeleToon, Friday, April 24, at 11:15 PM EST.

The short cartoon series, written by Warren Ellis (who wrote Transmetropolitan and Desolation Jones) and directed by Joaquim Dos Santos (who has directed many episodes of Justice League Unlimited), re-imagines the G.I. Joe characters and setting. G.I. Joe: Resolute is said to be darker, more violent, and the setting more contemporary, less laser-filled.

Resolute takes G.I. Joe away from the goofy programme-length toy commercials they were in the 80’s, and into gritty, “I don’t wear hockey pants” territory. That seems to be exactly what Hasbro, owners of the G.I. Joe brand, want. Warren Ellis claims to have told a Hasbro representative that he had “never even seen a G.I. Joe [and] couldn’t tell you what they look like,” to which the rep answered “Excellent, [you're] just the guy we need.”

Resolute is also, without a doubt, meant to draw attention to the upcoming live-action adaptation of the series, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. The Rise of Cobra is set to be released in August of this year.

137 Uncomfortable Plot Summaries

postmodernbarney has posted a truly epic list of 137 uncomfortable-but-true plot summaries of movies, TV shows, and comic books we all know and love.

Among my favourites:

• E.T.: Out-of-control pet causes mayhem, sadness.
• Big Trouble in Little China: Redneck trucker kills Chinese immigrants.
• War Machine: Alcoholic rich white man gives weapons to black man.
• Risky Business: Privileged rich kid gets everything he wants with no consequences.
• Star Trek VI: Racist military commander past his prime nearly ruins galactic peace.
• The Goonies:  Physically abused, retarded man finds love with overweight preteen.

Check out the entire list of Uncomfortable Plot Summaries @ postmodernbarney.com.

Inglourious Basterds Behind-the-Scenes Clip Still Won’t Convince me to Watch American Idol

Quentin Tarantino decided to debut some behind-the-scenes footage from his new film, the Second World War Nazi-Killfest Inglourious Basterds. The clip features our first look at Toronto native-son Mike Myers as British General Ed Fenech.  Thanks to the internet—and Dork Shelf—you don’t have to sit through the low-brow schlock that is American Idol, you can watch the clip right here!

Tarantino debuted the Basterds footage during Fox’s American Idol of all places. I guess 40 million viewers is a pretty effective way to build buzz for your movie, but I don’t really think Inglourious Basterds target demographic watches American Idol. Only time will tell if teenage girls turn out in droves to see a crack team of Jewish soldiers stick it to Hitler and company. Oh, and I think some guy named Brad Pitt is in it too.

Thanks to Raj for the heads up.

TV Character Battle: Ben Linus of Lost vs. That Guy from Lie To Me

Friend of Dork Shelf and fellow dork in her own right, Christie St. Martin, has posted an epic TV character grudge match over at her newly redesigned site.  What would happen if you pitted Benjamin Linus from Lost, master deceiver and manipulator extraordinaire against Lie To Me’s Dr. Cal Lightman, a human Lie Detector?

Having watched Lost since the start, I pretty much assume everything Ben is saying at any given point is a lie.  I’ve only seen one episode of Lie To Me, but I do know a few things: that Cal Lightman is awesome because he’s played by Tim Roth and that he has the uncanny ability to spot a lie.  It’s a really tough one to call, since these two are essentially the Superman and Batman of lying and deception.  St. Martin lays out the two contender’s advantages and disadvantages and leaves it up to the reader to decide the winner.  Who are you going to take Lightman or Linus?

Dr. Cal Lightman from Lie to Me versus Benjamin Linus from Lost

I’ve got to give this one to Ben Linus.  Sure, Lightman could probably catch Ben a lie—not hard to do when practically everything he says is a lie!—but that would be as far as he would go.  Ben would go much further, he either would have kidnapped Lightman’s daughter weeks ago to use as some kind of human bargaining chip, or he’d just cut to the chase and choke him to death in a hotel room.

Dork Shelf Podcasts Now On iTunes

The Dork Shelf Podcasts can now be subscribed to on iTunes. Our bi-monthly shows discussing all the latest Dork Shelf.com goings on featuring Will, Lucas and Jeff and an assortment of wild and crazy guests are now easier than ever to listen to.

Just click the link below if you use iTunes and your subscription will download our first 2 shows and sync them to your iPod.  Every time a new podcast is posted it will automatically be downloaded by iTunes.

Subscribe to Dork Shelf Podcast @ iTunes

If you don’t use iTunes, the podcasts can still be listened to and downloaded directly from our site.  Alternatively you can subscribe to the Dork Shelf podcast RSS feed.  Finally you can get your Dork Shelf fix on the go… if we can surmount the massive technical difficulties we’ve been having.

Big thanks to goopymart for creating the Dork Shelf mascot!

Venture Bros. Season 3 DVD Review

Behold the might of Jeff’s Venture Bros. Season 3 DVD review!

Bringing back the Anti-Gravity scale; things will be rated out of 1 to 5 G’s!

The Good
The Venture Bros. is incredibly well written and layered. It stands up to multiple viewings and every episode has commentary.

The Meh
While we have deleted scenes, they are merely mashed together storyboards.

The Bad
No other features beyond commentary and storyboards. I love this show and its creative team, but damn it, throw me another studio tour or how to draw Rusty Venture video!

Full Video Review after the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »