No new images available for this week. Sorry guys.

This is the episode we’ve been waiting for, everybody! “The Return”, episode six of Girls, marks executive producer Judd Apatow’s first appearance as co-writer on the show. After five episodes of Lena Dunham solely at the helm, it’s a bit of a relief to have someone else in the mix creatively; There were a few episodes there that were occasionally sluggish.

But that was then. Now, we’re in Michigan!

With a garbage bag of laundry in tow, Hannah visits her parents for their 30th anniversary. This return home gives Hannah the opportunity to see what her life could have been like if she hadn’t decided on becoming a writer and living in New York. And, as with any return of the prodigal son to la familia, Hannah eats all the leftovers in her parents’ fridge (with her hands), sleeps in until lunch, and gives her mother permanent bitch-face.

While on an errand for her mother, Hannah meets Erik, the sweet, long-haired pharmacist, who is essentially the antithesis of Adam. (I can’t believe Adam, “the douche,” is still factoring in on this show. But, he is.) Erik remembers Hannah from high school distinctly, is interested in her, and horrified by Hannah’s frank behaviour in bed. Up until this episode, I thought Adam was abusing Hannah emotionally, and I guess he still is, but that’s clearly what she wants out of her relationships and sex.

Her (surprisingly not caustic) conversation with Adam – “I don’t even care if you get my name wrong.” — and his description of New York City from his apartment window have Hannah smiling by the end of the episode, showing that, even though they’re not easy, Adam and New York are Hannah’s. In the end, the alternate life presented to Hannah in “The Return”, that of a florist/teacher with a blonde, caring boyfriend and without rent to pay, won’t make Hannah “the voice of her generation” and that’s what’s most important to her.

Oh, and another thing:
- Is Shosh still a virgin? Yes. Yes, she is. Well, who really knows? We’ve barely seen Shoshanna these last couple episodes. Bring back the Spwan of Mamet!
- There’s a Parker Poesy Party Girl poster on Hannah’s wall and little else.
- Plenty of Goo Goo Dolls love on tonight’s episode.
- Hannah’s mother needs her prescription now — now! — but Hannah still manages to squeeze in a lunch and score a date.
- “You are from New York and, therefore, you’re just naturally interesting.” I often forget why anyone could like Hannah, and then she delivers this pep talk to her reflection before a date.
- I was just as cynical as Hannah during Blonde Friend With Beret’s little “derrière” dance at The Benefit For Kary Lawrence. That might pass in Michigan, but you’re leaving for L.A. in the morning, kid. Also, your boyfriend’s so gay.
- I was unsure if Tad’s Annie Hall impersonation was supposed to be Woody Allen… or Christopher Walken.

After premiering recently at Toronto’s Hot Docs film festival, the doc Theo Fleury: Playing with Fire debuts tonight on HBO Canada. The film follows Theoren Fleury – among the most controversial and memorable figures in contemporary hockey history – on a promotional book tour. Director and producer Larry Day hasn’t produced a puff piece in any sense, this is a shocking and honest portrait of a man who has battled personal demons, addiction, and sexual abuse. While Theo Fleury has found a measure of success and sobriety recently, the documentary examines his career and his life, but really dwells on the scars, self-inflicted and otherwise, that Fleury carries with him.

The first shot we see is of Fleury against a green screen, getting made-up for the cameras when his smart phone rings. He picks it up, scoffs, and shows his call display to the camera “Oh, it’s the government of Manitoba,” he says “you know what that’s about? Graham James.”

There is a montage of Fleury’s career, his rage and his struggles – before the documentary deals immediately with Fleury’s motivations that led him to write his book, “Playing with Fire.” Fleury, and his co-writer are explicit: Fleury was broke (despite making over 50 million dollars US during his playing career), and he saw the book, at first, as an answer to his issues. It quickly grew into more than that however, and we see that Fleury believes strongly in his message, drawing strength and a sense of purpose from speaking about abuse, and from helping others dealing with those issues.

The competitiveness that made Fleury (who stands only 5’6″ and can’t have weighed more than 175 pounds in his prime) one of the leagues premiere point producing pests during his career, is still evident throughout the film. He complains and is deeply hurt by finishing fifth on the CBC reality show Battle of the Blades, for example. As we see him say at one of his talks “I always want to win” and in the case of the book, that meant he wanted it to be “a bestseller.”

Theo Fleury grew up in an abusive, addiction riddled house-hold. His parents are interviewed, and Day gives the viewer a textbook description of an “at risk youth.” Fleury’s abuse at the hands of the man who mentored him and held his professional prospects in those same hands, is described in graphic detail. At one point in the documentary, Theo Fleury’s father says that if he were in one of his drinking moods, he could see himself stabbing Graham James.

This isn’t a documentary about Theo Fleury’s hockey career, it’s a documentary about a deeply troubled and complicated man. The film touches on Fleury’s rise to the top of the professional ranks, but only to provide context for the fall. The fissures that eventually cracked Fleury’s life wide open were accelerated in New York and he really bottomed out in Chicago. In New York, Fleury was spending $400,000 every two weeks, and talks openly about spending ten grand a night at various Manhattan strip clubs. In Chicago, it’s explained that Fleury once spent well over a million dollars on a weekend long binge at the Drake hotel. Eventually, he even became a heroin user, a street person and a junkie. He describes at length how he considered suicide.

While the portrait is a sympathetic one, Day isn’t afraid to contradict his narrator, and he does so remorselessly when Fleury talks about apologizing to people in his life, and his relationship with his children. Day also shows the audience scenes of Fleury becoming extremely confused – in one sequence he’s unable to find his old home in Santa Fe. He talks about the toll that drugs, alcohol and making a living playing a dangerous game have taken.

Fleury burned nearly every bridge, both personal and professional, over the course of a troubled but wildly successful hockey career. He continues to do so in the film, taking a bunch of shots at Eric Francis and the Calgary Sun late in the film. His former employers seem to want nothing to do with him, really the only people from his former life who greet him warmly are the car attendants at Madison Square Garden who Fleury explains, he used to generously tip. While Fleury has got the numbers and the accolades of a sure-fire Hall of Famer, the likes of Brian Sutter explains that with his rap sheet, he’s unlikely to be inducted.

It’s sad really. While Fleury is and was a troubled man, with an awful lot of rage, he’s probably the best little-man in hockey history. Further, when you think of all that he’s been through, that he’s even alive – much less sober and successful – is as extraordinary a feat as anything he ever pulled off on the ice.

Theo Fleury: Playing with Fire airs tonight at 9 PM on HBO Canada.

Another week, another episode of Lena Dunham’s Girls to love/hate.

Let’s see what happened to the girls of HBO –

There wasn’t a title sequence again. So, I should probably stop looking forward to an intricately designed collage of ripped pantyhose, cupcakes and (doubly ironic) PBR cans.

Hannah has the lion’s share of problems this week, as always. She’s sent a sext by her “boyfriend” that was meant for someone else, her boss is feeling her up, and her diary is found by unfriendly snoops. Initially, I found a lot in Hannah’s character that I found relatable, but after the premiere of Girls, her inability to remove herself from unhealthy situations is dragging Dunham’s protagonist into the mud. Her work situation is begging for a sexual harassment case to be opened. Her diary should be hidden a little better. And, please, let’s not even speak about Adam, Hannah’s douchebag sex friend. Okay, well, I kind of have to; He texts a picture of his penis to Hannah, starting off the episode, and, of course, it’s by accident. That sext was meant for another girl. Instead of listening to Marnie and her co-workers — Dump him! — Dunham rips off her shirt and Hannah sends Adam a naked picture of herself. She almost redeems herself, however, when Hannah shouts at Adam eloquently and succinctly about her dissatisfaction with both their behaviour. I was cheering her on — Dump him! Dump him! But then she doesn’t. It’s like Dunham really, really doesn’t want me to care about Hannah. Because, right now, I don’t.

Even though I was pretty sure Marnie’s newly-shaven “American History X” boyfriend Charlie was a goner in episode two, he’s still kicking around, isn’t he? Yep, there he is in Marnie and Hannah’s apartment writing a song about Keds while doing carpentry! Keds. Carpentry. While writing a song for their two-man indie band. Ugh. To make things even worse, Alex Karpovsky appears as Charlie’s friend Ray; If you remember, he played the YouTube wunderkind in Dunham’s film Tiny Furniture. When I first recognized who he was, I assumed that, like in Tiny Furniture, Karpovsky will be playing a scumbag in Girls. He doesn’t disappoint. If Charlie is still Marnie’s boyfriend in the next episode of Girls, then it’s not only Hannah that makes godawful life decisions.

Jessa’s still at her babysitting gig despite her dumbfounded awe that, yes, you do have to show up every day to work even if you don’t feel like it. I was initially proud of her for committing to something, but then Jessa’s “I’m just like all of you” comment to the other caregivers was steeped in deeply pretentious delusion. Despite this and surprising everyone, however, Jessa’s quickly turning into the most emotionally accessible of the main characters on Girls. In an honest moment to the father of the kids she’s watching, Jessa admits that when she was a child she used to lie often, telling people that her mother was “this awesome mom” and that they were the best of friends. It’s a sad moment and a short one, but it’s a key into a character that’s otherwise drawn in wispy, oblique lines.

Now for that weekly question: Is Shoshanna still a virgin? Yes, she is, though a camp counsellor of hers came quite close to doing the deed. I’m slightly surprised that Shoshanna gave permission to a man in sandals and a knee brace to enter her apartment let alone allow him to hypothetically take her virginity.

Oh, and another thing:

• “It’s probably his asshole wearing a friendship bracelet!”
• “These are holes.” They’re not crotchless panties.
• Hannah’s eyebrows are so distracting after her co-workers “fix” them.
• “I so don’t get attached when I bleed.” Shoshanna has the best line delivery, and the best lines, to be honest.
• Brunch reference; It took four episodes.

It’s hard to believe the season is already half over, but HBO’s Game of Thrones continues to go strong in its fifth episode, entitled “The Ghost of Harrenhal.” Gruesome deaths, political schemes, hard truths, and revenge are par for the course in this series and nowhere is that more evident than in this episode. The one shortfall of this particular episode is its ambition. While previous episodes have handled the scope and scale of the series quite well, “The Ghost of Harrenhal” suffers from being a mid-season bridging episode. It’s full of great moments, but the episode never comes together to be more than just that – a series of memorable moments.

After last week’s cliffhanger, many were left wondering what awful business the shade (popularly known as the shadow baby) that Melisandre birthed would get up to. Well, viewers did not have to wonder long, as the foul creature violently revealed its intentions in the episode’s opening scene. Catelyn Stark and Renly Baratheon are finishing up negotiations, coming to what appears to be a game changing agreement in the War of the Five Kings, when the shade appears and makes a swift end of Renly. Whether King Robb would have accepted Renly’s generous terms quickly becomes a moot point.

Crisitunity! Littlefinger swoops into action in the wake of Renly’s death, making good on his earlier overtures to those who surrounded the late King, namely the Tyrells – Renly’s bride Margaery and his lover Loras. The scheming master of coin urges the brother and sister to flee Renly’s camp before the arrival of Stannis so thye may live to fight another day. These first few scenes following the would-be King’s assassination feature members of his Kingsguard – Ser Loras Tyrell and Brienne of Tarth – swearing revenge against Stannis Baratheon. “I will put a sword through his righteous face!” shouts Loras, echoed no doubt by the many fans of the late younger Baratheon. Brienne too seeths with thoughts of avenging her beloved Renly, nearly begging Cat to let her go die in the attempt. Both are talked down by the cooler, more diplomatic heads of Littlefinger and Cat, respectively. The former Kingsguards go their separate ways as a result, with the Tyrell’s seemingly leaning towards an alliance with the Lannisters and Brienne swearing loyalty to Cat and in turn the Starks.

For all their battlefield prowess, the brutes of the world – warriors like Loras and Brienne – are steadily revealing themselves to be nothing more than pawns in the larger game, pieces to be manipulated and kept in check by the literal kings and queens of the land. The noble Loras is a fighter not a negotiator; the Knight of Flowers is nothing more than a high profile tool to be directed against an enemy, whoever that may be. Similarly, Brienne has little use for politics and court intrigue, but almost immediately finds herself blamed for her king’s death and deals with it the only way she knows how – by cutting her way out. It’s a tragic mix-up, but one that Brienne could not have talked her way out of even if she’d tried.

Players like Littlefinger and Margaery are repeatedly demonstrating to viewers that they are operating on a completely different level – They are not concerned with something as petty as vengeance. People like them always keep the long game in mind. Revenge may be a part of their plan, but it will always be incidental to an even larger goal. “Do you want to be a queen?” asks Littlefinger. “No. I want to be the queen.” declares Margaery. You can almost see the wheels turning behind Petyr Baelish’s eyes, and it’s hard to tell who is playing who in this situation. The phrase “mutually beneficial,” a concept that Littlefinger is most fond of seems apt.

There are no shortage of “plots and schemes” in “Ghosts of Harrenhal,” and no intrigue-centric episode would be complete without the presence of master schemer Cersei Lannister, who mysteriously sat out last week’s episode. She was apparently too busy plotting things. In yet another wondefully acted scene between Lena Headey and Peter Dinklage, Tyrion tries to have a civil conversation with Cersei about recent events and the impending invasion of King’s Landing by the forces of Stannis Baratheon. He instead ends up trading vicious barbs with his sister. Renly’s death means that most of the younger Baratheon’s bannermen have flocked to his elder brother’s cause, leaving the Lannisters and their allies sorely outnumbered. Cersei scoffs at Tyrion’s declarations of Stannis’ numerical superiority, stating that Littlefinger claims they can still outspend their enemies. The Queen Regent remains convinced that she can buy her way out of any problem, but Tyrion – always the realist – urges her to tell him what she has in mind to defend the city. Never one to give her brother the slightest advantage over her, Cersei remains mum on what she and Joffrey have planned.

Not only does this biting exchange drive Tyrion’s plot forward in this episode, it also serves to demonstrate his genuine willingness to cooperate with his sister for the greater good – or at least for the long game. Many may call Stannis Baratheon the most stubborn and inflexible person in Westeros, but Cersei easily takes the crown as the most obdurate player of the game of thrones. The Imp must use all the means at his disposal to discover the Queen Regent’s plans, starting with his well placed mole in the Queen’s camp – Poor, clueless Lancel Lannister.

Speaking of pigheaded to the point of absurdity, we get a quick scene between Stannis and Davos shortly thereafter. We learn of Stannis’ own plans for the invasion, but the real meat of the scene deals with Davos’ concerns about the Red Priestess. Having seen what Melisandre is truly capable of (ie: birthing murderous shadow demons), the Onion Knight obviously has some reservations about her relationship with his king. Stannis is very set in his ways, and is not someone who takes criticism lightly. However, Davos feels that he is being disloyal by not criticizing Stannis. “Loyal service means telling hard truths,” Davos proclaims, and in a rare moment of open-mindedness, Stannis hears the former smuggler out. Ser Davos’ “hard truth” moves Stannis – or at least as much as one so set in his ways can be moved. He decides that for the sake of optics, lest his newly won bannermen think Melisandre is pulling his strings, not to bring the Red Priestess with them to King’s Landing.

Plans are being made all over the Seven Kingdoms it would seem, and the Iron Islands are no different. Reborn as a true Greyjoy, Theon meets his ship’s crew for the first time. However, the raping and reaving crew of the “Sea Bitch” do not take kindly to some petulant boy trying to tell them what to do, even if he is the son of Balon Greyjoy. Theon’s firstmate, Dagmar Cleftjaw, gives the untried captain a quick education in how real Iron Islanders think. “They don’t do as they’re told… they do as they like.” This newly imparted wisdom gets Theon thinking like a true son of Pyke. Why harass fishermen as his father “ordered” him to do, when he can capture a much greater prize? With King Robb away fighting the Lannisters, the castles of Torrhen’s Square and Winterfell lie mostly undefended. There’s no going back for Theon after this fateful decision.

Across the continent, in Harrenhal, plans are being hatched by the war council of Tywin Lannister – though perhaps not as smoothly as the elder Lannister would like. Confounded repeatedly on the battlefield by the forces of Robb Stark, the Lannister patriarch finds himself at wits end, surrounded by sycophantic cousins and illiterate bannermen. Arya’s role as cupbearer to Tywin is an entirely new role for the character, one that never took place in Martin’s books. These scenes – particularly the interplay between Tywin and Arya – are an absolute delight to watch. Tywin’s questioning of Arya – a northerner – about Robb Stark is especially great. Young Maisie Williams absolutely holds the screen opposite the veteran actor Charles Dance. Her resignation to the fact that “Anyone can be killed,” when talking about her brother is absolutely heartbreaking. It’s in that moment that you finally realize just how much Arya has been through.

But back to Tywin. For anyone who has read the novels, it’s very hard to like Tywin Lannister – he’s a terrible, terrible man who was particularly cruel to everyone’s favourite character Tyrion growing up. Tyrion has alluded to this treatment at the hands of his father and those issues will come to the fore, but in the interim Dance is so god damned good in the role, that it’s almost impossible not to at least have a sort of grudging respect for Tywin.

In Harrenhal we are also reintroduced to another character, Jaqen H’ghar, who remains shrouded in mystery. You know, the foreign sounding prisoner with the patch of white in his red locks? The former captive of the Night’s Watch appears dressed in Lannister garb at the castle, making Arya immediately cautious. However, he soon reveals to Arya that he owes her a debt for saving his life back on the King’s Road, one that he intends to repay in blood. Jaqen will remain mysterious as hell for most viewers after this (he’s still quite an enigma for those who read the books), but at least we now have some idea of his intentions in the short term. The death of the Tickler in the episode’s final scene is the first bit of real empowerment Arya has been given since… well, pretty much ever. With Jaqen’s help, little Arya is through being a victim for now.

North of the Wall we catch up with the men of the Night’s Watch. Jon Snow, like Cersei, was absent from episode four – presumably quite boringly marching northward to a place called the Fist of the First Men. As the main force waits for the arrival of a scouting party, led by the legendary Qhorin Halfhand, Sam regales his companions with a historical account of the Fist before being told to shut up. Tarly and Dolorous Edd provide some much needed comic relief on this bleak trek beyond the wall. Shooting the show in Iceland has given Jon Snow’s adventures a much more epic feel than the previous season. And man, does it look cold out there. Major points for authenticity.

Events accelerate quickly in the third act. Tyrion uncovers that his sister has commissioned the production of wildfire, an incredibly flammable substance that can be flung in catapults against the land and sea forces of Stannis. Longtime Martin fans will recognize the Pyromancer Hallyne as Roy Dotrice, a veteran of GRRM’s Beauty and the Beast and narrator of most audio book versions of the novels. Dotrice was original to play Grand Maester Pycelle, but had to drop out at the last moment. Awesome to see him on the show.

After Tyrion’s discovery and decision to produce even more wildfire, audiences catch up with Daenerys attempting to make herself at home in Qarth. This visit also provides our first look at the dragons… well, a dragon… since the first episode of the season. CG is expensive, okay? Dany quickly finds the Dothraki ways at odds with those of Qarth, and must repeatedly scold members of her Khalassar from acting the way they are used to. That is to say, she has to ask them nicely not to rape, pillage, and murder at every opportunity. While Westeros deals with a clash of kings, Dany deals with a clash of cultures. We get that Qarth is a weird place full of warlocks and fat merchants, but what the heck was up with that woman who spoke to Ser Jorah? Despite the serious message she delivered, it was hard not to laugh at the masked figure’s appearance.

The surprise marriage proposal of Qarth’s wealthiest man, Xaro Xhoan Daxos, is extremely tempting for Dany, who is eager to be done with Essos and return to the Seven Kingdoms. His wealth, power, and influence would serve her cause well, but Ser Jorah warns that she may end up serving Daxos in the process. Daxos questioned Dany about her relationship with Mormont, stating that he believes the Bear is in love with her. Mormont’s subsequent speech about Dany’s virtues and what she means to him all but confirms Daxos’ belief for both Daenerys and the audience. The poor fool Jorah is totally in the friend zone.

To Winterfell where Bran is holding court as Lord. With the help of Maester Luwin, Bran has grown more comfortable in the role, but he’s given his first true test when the stalwart Ser Rodrick arrives to inform him that nearby Torrhen’s Square is under attack. In the wake of the attack (and knowing what we know about Theon’s plans), the young Stark’s confession to Osha about his dream is particularly foreboding. Bran’s dreams, though few and far between, have an unfortunate tendency to come true. Just ask his late father, Ned.

Random observations

- The shade looked amazing, but we fear the showrunners will be tempted to bring it back. Please do not make it the Smoke Monster of Game of Thrones.
- We want more Qhorin Halfhand! His characterization on the show is spot on.
- Jon Snow a ranger? We’ll see how he does in the true north.
- Yay! Dany actually has things to do now… it only took half the season!
- If you hated Theon before, you’re really going to hate him over the next few episodes.
- Cersei needs to stop being such an obstructionist and help Tyrion prepare the city if they have any hope of surviving.
- Someone please submit Charles Dance for an Emmy or Golden Globe. The man is too good.
- We’re not totally sold on Jaqen H’ghar yet, but actor Tom Wlaschiha nailed his re-introduction to Arya. Performing with such unique dialogue cannot be easy.
- Nonso Anozie’s performance as Xaro Xhoan Daxos is easily one of our favourites of the season.
- No Robb Stark? Ladies will be tuning out.
- Seriously, what was with that Qartheen woman’s mask?

So, you may have heard of this little thing on HBO called Girls. It’s directed, written, and stars Lena Dunham, who previously made the film Tiny Furniture (that just happens to be in the Criterion Collection despite its 2010 release date.) You couldn’t have avoided the post-premiere frenzy of the last week. “It’s racist/elitist/the result of nepotism!” screamed the Internet. Everyone’s got an opinion on Girls; It doesn’t really matter if they watch the show. It’s the best/worst show on television; the second coming and the seventh seal of the apocalypse. Like it or not, though, this Judd Apatow produced comedy has a full run on the HBO locked down.

So, let’s put together the pieces of what happened this week on Girls, whether you enjoyed it, were indifferent or indulged in some hate-watching.

Girls‘ second episode began with a cold open to Hannah and Adam (also known as Douchebag) engaged in some HBO rated sex. It’s excruciating to watch, and that’s exactly what Dunham wants. Unfortunately, her relationship with Adam is about 50% of everything we know about Hannah up to this point, and I’m really quite tiring of her willingness to put up with him — and it’s only the second episode. It doesn’t help that Adam gives her an STD. After leaving Adam to his apparently condomless (and tactless) existence, Hannah’s got a job interview! Yes! But she bombs! No! Her interview is an excellent run of dialogue, and her rape joke is unexpected, completely in-character, and Dunham’s attempt to save the conversation and make the joke seem flippant was palpable with regret.

The A-story of the night was Jessa’s abortion, with Marnie organizing a pseudo get-together at the abortion clinic for support/STD testing. Where Marnie and Hannah (though less successful in all endeavours) confront their problems head on, Jessa, chronically sleepy and aloof, has indulged in a life of international travel and pot. Commitment of any kind, even to make the decision between having an abortion or not, is difficult for Jessa. Her default reaction is inaction. It’s, therefore, not suprising to see Jessa skip the abortion party — it turned into a party when Shoshanna brought Dylan’s Candy Bar snacks — and down a few drinks with the crotchety old men Hannah praised during her unfortunate job interview. Then, of course, in walks some stranger who vaguely looks like Cillian Murphy in the shadows, and it’s a given sex will be had, and, oh, the pregnancy just solves itself. Apathy works sometimes, kids. This sentiment is later repeated with Hannah’s fear of AIDS, where she starts almost daydreaming about not having to pay her rent or keep a job; She could use AIDS as an excuse to get out of her commitments. This little deferment fantasy is probably the most telling portrayal of Hannah’s mindset thus far in Girls.

Marnie’s become bored with her relationship with Marnie’s Boyfriend. He has a name, but it doesn’t really matter.  All the audience needs to know is the Marnie’s developed a distate for her “too great” boyfriend of four years. It looks like he’s been dumped, but the scene lacked a finality for a relationship of that length. Maybe he’ll return, or maybe Marnie will move on quickly to a better storyline. She really is the least developed of the characters. I still don’t quite understand what Marnie does for a living; She does have a scene where she’s in an office (But was it an office?) and could have been working. She was blatantly taking a personal phone call and talking about the gynecologist though. So, let’s not jump to conclusions. She’s probably employed, is all I’m saying.

Shoshanna, as a character, is in a very precarious position on Girls. She’s representative of everything I personally believe Lena Dunham despises: the “Girl Power,” yoga class-attending, Sex and the City-watching, hand-me-down view of young female adulthood that’s still very much prevalent — the image Girls is attempting to subvert. Shoshanna has grown up with these expectations and idolizes this culture of stilettos, bestfriendship, and sexual freedom — “I heard you were getting an STD test. Fun.” — but she doesn’t participate. Not really. Shoshanna’s a reluctant, twenty-year-old female virgin on an HBO series, and isn’t that surprisingly refreshing?

Oh, and another thing:

• “So good. I almost came.”
• I thought there’d be a title sequence this week, but there was nothing. I really hope this was just because of time constraints on this particular episode. If I had an HBO show and didn’t get one of their elaborately beautiful titles sequences, I’d be angry.
• “I could not be more proud of you for getting this abortion.” I predict that Jessa and Shoshanna will probably be my favourite characters.
• “Have you seen your nuts? Ew.” And then wait for it — “Ew.” The delivery of that last “Ew” was perfect.
• I kind of want all of Hannah’s clothes in this episode.
• “I am not a character from one of your novels. Stop staring at my face so hard.” At least Hannah’s not scribbling in a notebook like in Kicking & Screaming. I might need to reference Noah Baumbach in every Girls recap.
• The underwear stains thing.
• I really did think that guy that called his mother with Jessa’s “cellular phone” was Cillian Murphy. I honestly did. But it was just a hipster.
• Marnie’s response to Shoshanna’s virginity is that she hit a dog with her car and only has a learner’s permit.
• “It’s more of a Forrest Gump based fear.”

Starting with a fart joke and a direwolf mauling, “Garden of Bones” is an episode full of timely interventions and fateful confrontations, as well as one of the most disturbing cliffhangers you’re ever likely to see on TV. Despite some missteps, HBO’s Game of Thrones continues to be one of the most compelling shows on television with this fourth episode of the second season.

The episode kicks off with a bit of a let down: a battle… sort of. After a brief conversation between a couple of poor sods on guard duty, Robb Stark and his army launch a surprise attack against a Lannister camp. However, all we’re treated to is the surprise part, due to a rather unfortunate (but sadly necessary) fade out just prior to the battle.

The bloody morning after is where the real action happens though, featuring the introductions of two characters who will be integral to future seasons – pale-eyed Stark bannerman Roose Bolton (and his penchant for flaying people alive) and Robb’s love interest, the mysterious Talisa – a woman claiming to be from Volantis who is tending to the wounded in the wake of the battle. Talisa is not what she appears to be though, a common field nurse would not talk down to the King in the North even if she was in league with the Lannisters. There’s clearly more to this character though, since the actress playing Talisa, Oona Chaplin (granddaughter of Charlie), is actually credited as “Jeyne” in the series.

Whether Chaplin’s character turns out to be one Jeyne Westerling – the daughter of a minor house sworn to the Lannisters and Robb’s love interest from the books – remains to be seen, but so far her on-screen story is almost entirely different from that character. Originally Robb met Jeyne after being wounded while trying to capture the Westerling’s castle, and was subsequently nursed back to health by her. All of this happened off-page in the novels (since Robb is never a point-of-view character), so adapting the Stark’s love story for TV is fair game as far as we’re concerned, though it may anger some fans of Martin’s books. If the showrunners follow George R. R. Martin’s tale closely, fleshing out Robb’s story for the show will add much more weight to future events in the series. Martin himself has said that he wished he’d made the Young Wolf a POV character in the novels.

From the battlefields of the North to the court at King’s Landing, and the dickery of young King Joffrey is reaching new heights. In response to Robb’s victory against Lannister forces in the North, Joffrey points a crossbow at Sansa while debating whether or not he should kill her to avenge his men. This is as much about the young regent testing the limits of his power – or lack thereof – as it is about him just being a horrible little tyrant. There may be a method to his madness after all.

Joffrey decides not to kill Sansa, but orders her beaten instead. “Leave her face… I like her pretty,” Joff instructs Ser Meryn Trant. It’s brutal stuff and confirms our suspicions that Joffrey is more than just a little prick, he’s a bona fide sadist – something that is further demonstrated in the subsequent scene. The child body count for this season has already been pretty damn high, but seeing the naive young Sansa stripped and beaten by the vicious Ser Meryn (first Syrio, now this!? Come on!) after all she’s been through is not for the faint of heart. Sansa is hard to sympathize with at times, but you feel her pain as she’s punched and struck with the broadside of a sword over something she has no control over.

Tyrion’s fortunate arrival puts a quick stop to Sansa’s beating, and his timely arrival also gives him an opportunity to demonstrate his new authority as Hand of the King by very publicly dressing Joffrey down in front of the court. The Imp’s rescue of the young Lady Stark also foreshadows the interesting dynamic that develops between the two characters later in the books and will presumably be developed on the show.

There’s also a great little bookend to the scene where Bronn and Tyrion debate what may be causing Joffrey’s rather unfortunate behaviour. The two theorize that “dipping his wick” might cure what ails the piss-ant king. “There’s no cure for being a cunt,” Bronn muses, “but the boy’s at that age.” The pair are probably on the right track, but Tyrion’s name day gift to his nephew doesn’t result in much wick dipping – there is however a lot of whipping and beating. The spanking is all in good fun, the belt is a bit much, but the scepter at boltpoint is just cruel. Ros and her fellow ladies of the night are quickly finding out that life in the employ of Littlefinger can be exceedingly dangerous.

Cut to Renly’s camp and we’re treated to a few brand new scenes featuring a visit from the aforementioned “whore-monger” Petyr Baelish. But what is he doing in the Stormlands? Already known as a broker of information, these short scenes at the camp also help to lay the groundwork for Littlefinger’s future role as a broker of alliances. Always one to play the odds, Littlefinger makes some overtures to Renly regarding the younger Baratheon’s impending invasion of King’s Landing; however, we do not see if he and the King come to any kind of agreement. These new scenes with Littlefinger are entirely creations of the showrunners and were not featured in Martin’s novels at all. Not only do they add depth to Baelish’s numerous behind-the-scenes machinations, but they give viewers a better window into the relationship between Renly and his wife Margaery Tyrell.

Though everyone in the realm seems to know that Renly and Ser Loras are an item behind closed doors (or is it tent flaps?) – even the Lannister foot soldiers in the opening scene of the episode joked about it – Margaery seems to believe that Littlefinger’s perceptions of her relationship with her new husband are irrelevant. “My husband is my king and my king is my husband,” she states matter of factly. Margaery is quickly proving herself to be more than just a pretty rich girl – she’s yet another intriguing player in the game of thrones. Anyone who can shut Littlefinger down so effectively with just her words is a force to be reckoned with.

Across the Narrow Sea, we quickly catch up with Dany and her Khalasar still kicking it in the Red Waste after sitting out the last episode. Some good news at last for the starving band of Dothraki, as one of Dany’s bloodriders returns with a new horse and an offer from the city of Qarth to receive the “mother of dragons.” Ser Jorah continues to fill his role as Dany’s protector as well as official explainer of things for her (and the audience), describing the grim fate that awaits them in the “Garden of Bones” should the Qartheen refuse them entry into their city. The group has little choice but to travel to Qarth, not just for food, water, and shelter, but for something for Dany to do. After impressively closing out the first season, the character has had little to actually do in season two thus far besides wander the desert. Qarth is where the action is for the Targaryen and her followers.

Back in Westeros, as if the lot of the Stark girls wasn’t bad enough in this episode, we catch up with young Arya just in time to witness her arrival at the terrifying and imposing castle of Harrenhal. The massive ruined fortress – the largest in Westeros -  is currently being occupied by the forces of Ser Gregor “the Mountain” Clegane, who is using the dragon-blasted castle as a staging point for the Lannister’s campaign of terror in the Riverlands. A place of death and torture, seeing the young girl and her compatriots exposed to such violence is truly heartbreaking. Arya spends her first rainy night at Harrenhal reciting the names of those who were responsible for her father’s death, as the late Yoren of the Night’s Watch taught her to do. “Joffrey, Cersei, Ilyn Payne, the Hound.” Sadly, we know that little Arya’s list is likely to grow before the season is out… hell, it grows in the next scene at Harrenhal when we are introduced to the Tickler and his unorthodox method of torture.

Returning to Renly’s camp and we find ourselves watching another scene created specifically for the show – an extremely unpleasant meeting between Catelyn Stark and Littlefinger. Cat rightly holds Baelish partly responsible for Eddard’s untimely death, having asked him to look out for Ned while he served as Hand to King Robert. However, this doesn’t deter Littlefinger from making a pass at Catelyn, professing his love for her only have it rebuffed at knifepoint by the fiery widow. Talk about awkward. Here the showrunners further expand upon Littlefinger’s character as a schemer and dealmaker, as well as the character’s torrid past with Cat and the Tullys.

Next we move to the long awaited parlay between the surviving brothers Baratheon – Stannis and Renly. Seeing the Baratheon’s face off on screen is a moment that many have been waiting to see, and it doesn’t disappoint. The back and forth between the two is full of contempt and ire, and Stannis’ ultimatum to his younger brother carries some serious weight. Renly may have the “friends” and the numbers behind him, but Stannis has got the Red Priestess and her burning god at his back. Something tells us this is not going to end well, and in this series you should always bet on the guy with the sorceress.

To Qarth now – “the greatest city that ever was or will be” – where Dany and her Khalasar are introduced to the Thirteen, a guild of traders who control the wealthy port city. The Thirteen offer Daenerys entrance to the city in exchange for a look at her dragons, but not wanting to reveal that they are only babies, she refuses. Denied, the Thirteen regrettably inform Dany that she will not be allowed into the city – a death sentence after the distance they travelled to get to Qarth. At her wits end, Daenerys threatens to return and burn the city to the ground when her dragons are born if her Khalasar is not given entry, but the Thirteen merely scoff at her, noting that if they do not allow her into the city she will die. It is only the last minute intervention of one of the Thirteen members, the hilariously named Xaro Xhoan Daxos, that saves Dany and company from starvation in the “Garden of Bones.” Dany learned the ways of warfare thanks to her late husband Khal Drogo, but this scene aptly demonstrates that she has much to learn about the art of diplomacy.

Finally we come to what will no doubt be a much talked about scene – Melisandre’s birthing of the shade. After giving Renly the night to lay down his banners, Stannis intends to make good on his threat, ordering Davos to deliver the red woman to the shore outside of Renly’s camp. Melisandre teases the Onion Knight about his attraction to her, “You want to see what’s beneath this robe.” And boy will he, and then some. Yeesh. (Hilariously the two actors, Liam Cunningham and Carice van Houten, played lovers in the 2011 film Black Butterflies – Davos has already seen what’s under her robe.) For most viewers, those who haven’t read the books in particular, this scene will either put them off the series entirely or hook them irrevocably. If the series follows the books, magic will remain a mysterious thing in the world of Game of Thrones, but the birth of the shade is the most overtly magical occurence to take place in the series thus far. It’s a jarring and stomach-turning scene that ends on a cliffhanger: the real question now is what is that shade going to do?

Random observations

- Harrenhal and Qarth look wonderful in the title sequence. Great additions!
- While we realize that budgetary restrictions mean that big battles must be kept to a minimum, the fade out and off-screen carnage in the opening scene was yet another lowblow to fans who complained about the lack of battles in season one. We cannot wait for episode nine.
- The showrunners have somehow turned Joffrey into an even more irredeemable asshole than he was in the books. Kudos to Jack Gleeson on a jerk well played.
- Harrenhal looked just as scary as we’d imagined it.
- Our first mention of “the Brotherhood without Banners” by the Tickler as he tortures that poor sap and then Gendry. We can see that flaming sword in our heads already.
- Sure she was present at the parlay in the books, but why would Catelyn Stark be invited to a meeting between two men who oppose her son’s claim as King in the North?
- It wasn’t clear enough that “the Mountain” was “the Mountain.” The role of Ser Gregor Clegane was recast between seasons and putting him in generic Lannister armour did little to remind viewers that he was the brute who decapitated a horse in the first season.
- No Cersei or Jon Snow in this episode. Expect episode five to heavily feature the two of them.
- Good grief… the birthing of the shade was creepy as hell. We at once can’t wait and don’t want to see more of it. Carice van Houten is spot on as Mel in scenes like this.

“Oh, Max. What do you do? Oh, I do nothing.” Kicking & Screaming

I can’t recall the last time a television series or film so directly and unabashedly pandered to a demographic of which I was a member.

Like, it was probably Mulan.

HBO’s new comedy, GIRLS,is produced by Judd Apatow, and written and directed by Lena Dunham, who also stars as the series’ protagonist, Hannah Horvath. The first episode of GIRLS is currently available on HBO’s YouTube channel. Boasting laugh-out-loud moments mixed with painful truth, GIRLS will be compared to Curb Your Enthusiasm, Louis C.K.’s Louie, and a plethora of other uncomfortably hilarious television shows. These comparisons are apt, though maybe a bit stunted.

Hannah is a 24-year-old English graduate who, in the cold open, is cut off from her parents’ financial support. Dunham and Jemima Kirke, who plays Hannah’s transient best friend Jessa Johansson, essentially reprise their roles from Dunham’s film Tiny Furniture. Allison Williams and Zosia Mamet round off the girls of, well, GIRLS. Much like in the film, Dunham’s character is somewhat aimless, with a year’s worth of thankless interning and four humour essays as the only product of her post-graduate life. I cannot relate to her in any way.*

*This is a lie.

With GIRLS and Tiny Furniture, Lena Dunham is clearly in that faction of nerds who could reenact scenes of Noah Baumbach’s Kicking & Screaming if prompted. (We perform at the Annex Wreckroom on Wednesdays.) It’s no wonder that Chris Eigeman, Baumbach’s and Whit Stillman’s leading man of the 1990s, has a cameo as Hannah’s internship supervisor. He accepts her resignation, removing all possibility for him to be a regular cast member. I found his presence here reassuring, however tragically brief. With GIRLS, Dunham is more interested in the often uncomfortably real yet stylized post-graduate, twenty-something existence depicted in the films of Baumbach and Stillman, the heyday of 1990s upper-middle-class, well-educated malaise, rather than that other late-90s, women-in-NYC thing.

You know.

Wherein I talk about the pink stilletto-wearing elephant in the room: Sex and the City

Before the Tumblrs are all aglow with gifs of this, I accept that GIRLS could be seen as reinterpretation of Sex and the City, but without the easy money and success that was often found and celebrated in the late 1990s. The context is familiar — four women figure out their love lives in New York City — and so are the broad strokes of the characters. There’s the English graduate protagonist (Hannah, Carrie); the ambitious best friend (Marnie, Miranda); the more worldly, nonchalant freedom child (Jessa, Samantha); and the naive, uptight waif (Shoshanna, Charlotte). After the first episode of GIRLS, we know very little about these characters, but it’s still enough for comparisons to be made.

Now, I’ve seen a handful of episodes and understand the gist of Sex and the City, but I (like the characters in GIRLS) largely missed that phenomena, and was pre-pubescent when it premiered. Most twenty-something girls discovered the show in their teenaged years and binged on DVD collections, downloading obscenely high expectations and catchphrases in bulk. To me, Sex and the City is dated, a relic, and based on her script, I believe Lena Dunham thinks much the same.

For better or worse, Dunham does hang the lampshade on the inevitable comparisons between her show and Sex and the City. Shoshanna, Jessa’s hyperactive cousin and roommate, blatantly points out the Sex and the City movie poster on her otherwise bare walls before she allows Jessa to even sit down. And of course, Shoshanna goes on and on about how she’s a “Carrie at heart” or some other nonsense. Jessa deadpans, “Oh, is that a show?”

This is where GIRLS attempts to distance itself from Sex and the City and the perceived image of women on television that Carrie Bradshaw and co. birthed. In her all-pink yoga wear, very much the product of borrowed Sex and the City “culture,” Shoshanna talks quickly, irreverently, and “liike” about nothing. We’re openly invited to mock Shoshanna — to hate her even — and throw our lot in with the sleepy, bohemian Jessa, and two girls eating cupcakes and shaving in a bathtub. Lena Dunham is screaming “This isn’t Sex and the City!” as loud as she can, but then, she sure goes out of her way to talk about it, doesn’t she?

Oh, and another thing:

• “Avert your eyes.” In Mickey Mouse pyjamas. Yes.
• Say Anything references are always appreciated.
• Everyone keeps walking in on each other in the bathroom! This is not acceptable behaviour, people.
• Chris Eigeman should be in the background of every scene playing the crossword and/or on Mescaline.
• The Totem of Chat was a nauseating bit of dialogue. I know you can do better, Dunham.
• “Oh my god, you’re so hip I could puke.” “You’re so fucking classy.” Shoshanna, I like your one-liners, but loathe your entire being. Way to go, spawn of David Mamet. (Yes, Zosia is the playwright’s daughter.) You did well tonight.
• Wouldn’t it be great if knowing Adobe Photoshop was a guarantee for employment?
• Hannah’s friend-with-benefits (actor, comparative literature major, carpenter, collector of bicycles, douchebag) was immediately hated by everyone, ever, the moment he opened the door to his apartment.
• The sex scene showed off Hannah’s really great boots!
• You say “I’m not really into eating this week,” and then you slag off Clueless? Where did these people come from? They should not be invited back to future dinner parties.
• I like the dynamic between Marnie (good influence on Hannah) and Jessa (bad influence), and their competition for Hannah’s “bestfriendship.”
• “Coffee’s for grown-ups,” Flaubert, and “Don’t look at me!” — all with her hand over her face in distress? Ms. Dunham, you’re precious.
• Biggest Laugh: “When I look at you, a Coldplay song plays in my heart.”

“What is Dead May Never Die” is the first episode I’ve reviewed thus it’s the only one I’ve watched more than once, and as I suspected, a lot of it went over my head. I feel I should also mention that, unlike our other reviewers, I haven’t read the books, so this week you’re getting the more casual viewer’s take on the episode.

As with many HBO series, the first 3-4 episodes of any season seem to primarily be spent setting up the characters and events that make the second half of the season really pop. This can often make these episodes a little trying to get through, but there is still enough blood, flesh, and intrigue to entertain the patient and thrill-seeking viewers alike. Thrones, more so than 99% of the other series out there, demands that you give it your full attention in order to understand the story’s developments. It’s the second season and I’m still sometimes confused as to how all of the characters relate (on top of the sheer plethora of characters, incest, geography, and deception also help to muddle matters at times), fortunately there are family trees, maps and similar aids available online to help along the slow pokes like myself.

Now back to the episode at hand. As per usual I felt most of the highlights belonged to Tyrion. Not only is his character the most interesting, but Dinklage plays him with such a perfect mixture of poise, humour, and humility that it’s becoming clear that his character is best suited for the throne he’ll likely never reach (pun intended). The fact that he doesn’t seem to desire it makes him all the more suitable. Here we get perhaps the best example so far of Tyrion’s brilliance when he hatches a plan to discover who is spying for the Queen. He suspects Grand Maester Pycelle, Varys, and Littlefinger. In a very clever sequence, he holds private meetings with each and reveals plans to marry off Princess Myrcella, but names a different suitor to each suspect, all of which he knows Cersei will find objectionable. When Cersei confronts Tyrion about his plans to send Myrcella to House Martell, which is what he told Pycelle, the Grand Maester is ousted and subsequently de-bearded by Tyrion in a humiliating confrontation. This ruse is a perfect example of why you must always pay close attention to every interaction in order to prevent confusion, as I certainly didn’t fully grasp it the first time around.

Theon’s role in all of this is starting to become a little clearer as we learn more about the family he returned to in the previous episode. We quickly learn that Theon’s father, Balon Greyjoy, is not particularly fond of any of the Starks nor the son he sent to live with them, and is more keen on having his weirdo daughter lead an army to the North to invade Winterfell while Robb Stark is occupied with fighting in the South. Despite a shitty homecoming and a letter Theon writes to Robb warning him of Balon’s plans, it appears as though Theon decides to betray the Starks in favour of his family when he burns the letter and pledges allegiance to the ‘Drowned God of the Ironborn’ in a ceremony resembling a baptism. Seeing Theon torn between two families like this, between blood and love, adds a lot to his character and it will be interesting to see if the ceremony births a new man, or if it   was merely empty words to appease his father.

This episode also introduces Brienne of Tarth, a female warrior played by the 6 foot 3 Gwendoline Christie. Before it is revealed that she is a woman, we see her as a masked knight defeating Ser Loras and subsequently earning herself a place in Renly’s guard (much to Loras’ chagrin). I don’t know if I should blame the show’s director for lingering on the helmet too long before she removes it, or Lord of the Rings for making it a bit of a cliché, but it became painfully obvious to me before the reveal that the fighter was going to be a female, despite her deceiving size.  I’m looking forward to seeing what else Brienne capable of and hope she can help Renly deliver his promise of Joffrey’s head.

And while we gained a warrior with Brienne of Tarth, the end of the episode saw the demise of another: Yoren. His death can be seen as somewhat foreshadowed by a monologue he delivers in the preceding scene. Here he tells Arya of the events that led him to the wall. In order to avenge his brother’s death he put an axe so deep into the murderer’s skull “they had to bury him with it.” This is easily one of my favourite lines from the show so far and very well delivered as Yoren relays the gruesome image to the child with both pride and repentance. While nothing in his story directly foreshadows his imminent doom, it is simply the attention given to this tertiary character at this point combined with the uncharacteristic bearing of his soul that make us feel his life is nearing its end. It is then that Joffrey’s guard arrives in search of Gendry, when Yoren refuses to comply his death is a valiant one.

Speaking of the King you love to hate, he was noticeably absent from this episode, as was Daenerys with her winged companions, nor is much screen time is given to Jon Snow and the developments occurring on the wall. This kind of neglect is inevitable when juggling so many storylines, but I can say with confidence that those who missed those characters this week will not be disappointed next week.

The second episode of the Clash of Kings season of Game of Thrones, entitled “The Night Lands,” is extremely well developed, but it’s also the most gratuitously smutty of the four episodes of season two that Dork Shelf has seen. We get lots of Tyrion, we get some fun original scenes, we’re introduced to a colorful pirate in Sallador San and we finally get to glimpse Pyke (which looks fantastic) and the Iron Islands. The culture of the Iron Islands is, distinct from the more traditional Westerosi cultures the viewer has spent most of their time engaged with, but the show does very well to convey the most important aspects of the viking-like culture of the islands in limited screen time.

“The Night Lands” opens where episode one concluded, with Arya, Gendry and Yoren taking the King’s Road north to bring a cadre of new recruits to join the Night’s Watch. Arya approaches a barred prisoners coach, where three particularly dangerous recruits are being transported at the behest of one of the prisoners, a relatively good looking fellow named Jaqen.

When one of the prisoners taunts her, she beats on the cage with a stick causing Jaqen to observe “the girl has more courage than sense,” it’s a refrain echoed shortly afterwards by Gendry, who responds to Arya’s claim that they “don’t scare me” with the reproach “then you’re stupid – they scare me.” This isn’t the first time that the series has explored the dichotomy between real courage and stupidity. Last season Theon Greyjoy asked Robb Stark if he was scared about marching south, and when Robb responded affirmatively, Theon’s response was similar to Gendry’s in this episode “that good – that means you’re not stupid.”

That theme rears it head again just moments later when Yoren threatens and disarms two Gold Cloaks who have ventured out from King’s Landing in search of Gendry. Gendry as the viewer knows from the end of the premiere episode, is being hunted by these “Gold Cloaks” (members of the City Watch) because, as a bastard of Robert Baratheon, he poses an indirect threat to Joffrey’s claim to the Iron Throne.

Of course, according to Yoren the “gutter-rats” in his possession “belong to the Night’s Watch – outside the reach of Kings and Queens,” and not only is he uncooperative, he threatens to “nick” one of the Gold Cloak’s arteries with a blade so sharp he could “shave a spiders arse with it.” Yoren’s act of defiance is courageous, but in letting the two Gold Cloaks go (as opposed to doing the dishonourable, but intelligent thing and murdering them on the spot) is he inviting a reprisal?

From there the action shifts to King’s Landing, where Tyrion comes upon his secret lover (and most apparent weakness) Shae in conversation with the Master of Whispers, Varys. Varys, played by Conleth Hill was a highlight of the first season, and he’s picked up right where he left off so far in season two. His velvety, sinister cadences are perfect for a man of secret motivations, and wily cunning – and I really enjoyed his repartee with both Shae “I don’t think Varys likes fish pie” and Tyrion “Ned Stark was an honourable man… and I am not.”

In his conversation with Varys, Tyrion of course delivers an all important line when he declares that he’s not Ned Stark and understands “the way this game is played.” That becomes quickly apparent over the course of this episode, Tyrion mocks his sisters clumsy efforts at governance “you have a deft hand with diplomacy,” is the only member of the small council who foresees the essential nature of the growing threat from the North, and he manages to do something to address it while also ridding the Small Council of a Cersei loyalist when he exiles Janos Slynt to Castle Black towards the end of the episode.

I especially enjoyed the way the members of the small council immediately disregarded the letter from Lord Commander Mormont, telling of wights and the desperate need for more men to man the wall. The total disregard for the importance of that particular theatre and institution is telling – it’s doubtful that many of the privileged members of court have ever been that far North. That disconnect seems as if it may end up being quite costly for the seven kingdoms, especially considering the reappearance of the White Walkers in the episodes final scene.

On Cersei and governance, the series has done a good job of making her sound like a total goon whenever she discusses the nature of power and how to wield it. When Tyrion informs her that she’s “Losing the people,” she responds with “you think I care,” which, tells us most of what we need to know. Her explication that “ruling is lying on a bed of weeds, pulling them out by the root before they strangle you in your sleep” is particularly paranoid and off-base and Tyrion’s simple rejoinder “I think there’s more to ruling than that,” is pitch-perfect. Her admonition of Tyrion, that Jaime and himself have “never taken it seriously, it’s all fallen on me” was particularly revealing as well, because Cersei is so clearly unable to differentiate between the pursuit of power and maintaining it.

Meanwhile, in the great white North, the men of the Night’s Watch are ogling Craster’s daughters. Oddly enough it’s none other than Sam who has hatched a plan to save one of the Craster’s daughters/wives in Gilly (played by the lovely Hannah Murray, who was awesome in the British version of Skins). When Jon Snow tries to reason with Sam, and try to prevent him from “stealing” her from Craster, Sam objects “you can’t steal her, she’s a person not a goat.”

Sam’s rejection of Jon’s use of the word “steal” is also a rejection of the normative values of personhood held by Craster, and, we can assume, the Wildlings more generally. Tarly’s universalist sentiment about personhood, triumphing over Westerosi norms is echoed shortly thereafter by Daenerys who assures a female member of her Khalasar that her recently butchered lover’s soul cannot be killed, and that her deceased companion will ride again in “the Night Lands” regardless of what Dothraki traditional has taught her.

A quick side-note, when I saw George R. R. Martin “In Conversation…” about a month ago, he was asked if there was a non-point of view character in the books whose perspective he wished he’d included in the text. He mentioned Robb Stark briefly, but suggested that one thing he regretted was having never written a chapter from the perspective of a Dothraki character. The result, is that readers only receive an outsider account of Dothraki culture, and one that the likes of Edward Said may object too. I thought that was really interesting at the time, and was reminded of it by the brief expression of how Dothraki religion works in tonight’s episode.

Let’s get to the gratuitous sex, which begins on the ship that Theon is being ferried to the Iron Islands on. Below deck, Theon has taken the daughter of the ship’s captain for a play thing. For the most part, I thought this scene was generally worthwhile – it allowed for some characterization of Theon (as an imperious douche) and introduced the concept of “salt wives” which, gives the audience a quick hint as to how the values of the Iron Islanders work.

From there, we’re taken on a totally ridiculous cutscene. We go from the aspiring salt wife struggling with the girth of Theon’s manhood, to a two-way peep show in Littlefinger’s brothel that is immediately followed by Littlefinger wiping the semen off of one of his “whores” faces, before getting her to makes out with a dissatisfied client. I guess they were playing that up for a laugh, maybe even having fun at the critics of the shows overreliance on sexposition, but the result is basically absurd.

While the scene seemed unnecessary, I loved the original scene between Ros and Littlefinger. Ros, understandably, is still traumatized by seeing Janos Slynt execute an infant in her presence, and while Littlefinger at first seems to be interested in comforting her, his condolences quickly turn into a threatening reprimand. Littlefinger has been made out to be more explicitly a “bad guy” in the television series than he was in the books, and that continues here with his “losses were mitigated” soliloquy. Personally, I dig it.

We then catch up with Theon and his disastrous return to Pyke – his fine wine is mocked as “woman’s drink,” his attire is lambasted by his father, “I won’t have my son dressed as a whore,” and to make matters worse he accidentally diddles his sister. Theon’s horseback fingerbang of his sister Yara is appreciably more graphic in the series than it was in the books, and I’m not sure what that adds except shock value. Generally, I think it just makes the audience consider Yara a total weirdo (why would she allow that to happen?) and I’m not really sure that suits her characterization going forward.

The scenes with Theon and Balon Greyjoy (where Theon realizes who he was just fooling around with) were pretty awesome, and introduced some difficult concepts effectively. The idea of the “Iron Price” is really important for understanding the Iron Islander’s viking-like ways, and having Balon strip Theon of his “baubles” was a good way of conveying just how anti-social and stubborn the Iron Islanders preferred method of economic interaction is. The way Balon grasped his daughter, as if she were the true heir to the Iron Isles, also helped to make it crystal clear to the audience how distinct the culture is in this corner of Westeros.

Speaking of distinct cultures, it was hard not to enjoy Davos’ recruitment of the Lysene pirate Salladhor Saan (and Saan’s interactions with Davos’ hard-liner son). Davos brings Salladhor on board to Stannis’ cause with the promise of gold, plunder, and glory to which Salladhor responds by observing that his name would fit well into the lyrics of heroic songs. The scene was more about giving the audience some characterization for Davos (who is an illiterate, and godless realist) but I enjoyed it otherwise. You have to think that Salladhor has some potential to provide occasional comic relief in this series.

While the whorehouse scene and Theon’s dirty horsebacking were silly and gratuitous, the episodes other original sex scene – the one between Stannis and Melisandre – did well to add a certain amount of texture of the series. Stannis and his Red Priestess never interact in a coital fashion in the books, though it is implied, and (partial spoiler alert) considering the power of Melisandre’s womb later on in the series – constructing her as a more explicitly sexual creature makes a good deal of sense.

To top it off, how cool is that martial map of Westeros in Stannis’ council chambers?  The “painted table” is so, so awesome. That map is even cooler than the Iron Throne, and having two characters knock boots on it was a solid artistic choice.

In the final scene, we’re reintroduced to the real threat to the safety of Westeros, when Jon Snow catches Craster sacrificing a male infant to what appears to be a White Walker. Craster’s habit of marrying his daughters is creepy enough, but his habit of sacrificing his sons to vicious magical creatures puts his “that dudes scares me witless” quotient over the top.

Viewed as a whole, “The Night Lands” drove the main plot forward while developing some normative values among three distinct cultures that fall outside the Westerosi mainstream (Wildlings, Iron Islanders, Dothrakis). The episodes in this season continue to be unbelievably busy, jumping across continents several times per episode. I’m curious to see what will happen when the show finally decides to do more self-contained episodic chapters, and convinced that will ultimately need to occur; that said, I remain very impressed by Game of Thrones’ juggling ability.

HBO’s Game of Thrones is back, and it’s at its sprawling, brutal best in the premiere episode of the second season. In “The North Remembers,” the narrative jumps regularly across continents to re-introduce the audience to the characters, and the rapidly changing world they inhabit. Consider the scale of the task at hand: six distinct locations, a complex plot, and well over 25 named characters who deliver more than one line of dialogue. To accomplish this, one can understand the episode as consisting of two distinct sections – a “pole-to-pole” section that catalogues the various characters and the portentous omens of a “changing world” that surround them, and a more plot-driven section concerning the war at hand and the revelation of Jaime and Cersei’s incest to the world. That the episode reconciles these two distinct sections, and accomplishes both tasks in a satisfying dramatic package is a pretty remarkable feat of storytelling.

Let’s start with the pole-to-pole section (since the episode itself does). The second season opens with a bloody staged fight, as Joffrey’s bodyguard, Sandor “The Hound” Clegane, kills another knight by hitting him off of the Red Keep’s battlements in celebration of Joffrey’s name-day. Last season, King Robert’s festival to celebrate the ascension of Ned Stark to the role of “King’s Hand” was similarly bloody, but there’s still a detectable uptick in the brutality of King’s Landing under Joffrey’s reign. Joffrey rules the Red Keep like the sociopathic head of a pernicious frat house that never stops hazing its recruits. He’s even got a medieval beer bong!

Sansa and the Hound team up to foil Joffrey from drowning a drunken knight in wine with the episodes first “omen”: it’s bad luck to murder anyone on your birthday. This strikes me as a pretty feeble excuse not to kill a man, Joffrey after all is having a string of Knights murdered for his enjoyment – but killing a drunken oaf is bad karma?

Anyway, Sansa’s intervention on Ser Dontos’ behalf, and her answer to Tyrion’s gracious display of compassion, “my father was a traitor, I’m loyal to my beloved Joffrey,” is a telling glimpse into her courtly handling of being betrothed to the psychopath who murdered her father. Where last season Sansa was a mostly annoying damsel in distress figure, it’s clear that her current situation has forced her to become a more calculating, willful creature.

Tyrion’s return to Kings Landing is good fun, and he continues to be the only character willing to stand up to Joffrey. Tyrion’s cheeky whistling entry into the Small Council meeting – where they are discussing yet another omen, the end of the “longest summer in recent memory” – is gold, as is Tyrion’s reprimanding Cersei for her many failures as Queen Regent. Dinklage continues to absolutely nail the role, and the rueful, triumphant expression he gives Tyrion when “the Imp” hands off Tywin’s letter to Vary’s without breaking eye contact with his sister was a really good moment.

From the Red Keep, we venture North to Winterfell (seen at first from a distance, being guarded by a Stark bannerman), where Bran is holding council and hearing about the issues in the North from his subjects. Benioff and Weiss clearly set up a contrast between Joffrey’s education on how to be a ruler, and Bran’s in this episode. Where Joffrey is a tyrant, who has learned well how to deliver a sentence against a subject with the icily delivered line “make sure he drinks his fill,” Bran is being coached on the importance of “listening to those you’d rather not listen to.”

You have to admire the choice to show us Bran losing his temper at an impertinent subject. It’s a simple way of conveying several pretty complex dramatic themes. The first is that boys rarely make good rulers, and the second is that a prospective ruler rarely wears a crown with natural ease. The qualities that result in proper leadership need to be nurtured. It’s a theme echoed later in the episode by Lord Commander Mormont, who tells John Snow that “if you want to lead, you must first learn how to follow.”

We also got our first “Warg” scene, as Bran has a “green-dream” where he inhabits the body and perspective of his direwolf. When I saw George R. R. Martin at TIFF’s “In Conversation…” event several weeks back, he talked about how Bran is the most difficult character to write (he can’t propel himself forward physically in the world, for example, so his chapters have to be really well thought out in advance). I thought about that watching the Warg sequences – because I’d imagine it’s very hard on Benioff and Weiss to bring Bran to the screen as well.

Dramatizing the process by which a character slowly discovers a magical power like “I can inhabit the body of a specific creature,” is a tall order. To that effect, using the device of Bran’s direwolf seeing his own reflection in a pond, followed immediately by Bran going back out to retrace the steps the Wolf took in his dream, was a smart and relatively clear way to introduce the concept. This scene also brought us to another omen, “the comet” which, Osha (so far the shows most reliable expert on the magical realm, at least aside from Nan) says signifies dragons.

The comet is more than just an omen, it’s a useful dramatic device to allow us to leap to another continent (and then back again)! We catch up with a starving, dehydrated Daenerys sporting a fine looking dragon on her shoulder. She is currently leading her weakling khalasar across an unforgiving desert called the Red Waste, surrounded by enemies and with no salvation in sight. When her prized horse dies, she decides to send out three of her riders to discover what options they have and then she looks up at the comet which…

Transports us north of the Wall, where the Night’s Watch has arrived at Craster’s Keep, a creepy place ruled over by a man who marries his daughters, does something suspicious with his sons, and always extracts desirable goods in exchange for information. Craster reveals that Mance Rayder (the King Beyond of the Wall) has assembled a formidable army, and plans on marching it south. He takes an immediate dislike to Jon Snow, who bristles at being classified a “southerner,” and is much too pretty for Craster’s liking.

The scene at Craster’s and the scene with Daenerys in the Red Waste are basically one offs – they re-introduce two important characters, and update the audience on their situations, but neither character reappears in the episode. After the scene with Jon Snow the action transitions to Dragonstone, the pole-to-pole section of the episode ends, and the plot driven portion begins.

It’s odd that this is the dividing line in this episode, because, as readers of the book will know, Clash of Kings opens on Dragonstone, and the epilogue is told from the perspective of Maester Cressen, who attempts to poison the mysterious priestess and dies in the attempt. Opening season two at the familiar haunt of King’s Landing, as opposed to beginning at Dragonstone (a new setting, inhabited by new characters) strikes me as sensible interpretation for a cable television serial; but it’s no coincidence that the dramatic pace picks up at this point.

At Dragonstone we meet Robert’s brother Stannis Baratheon, who has rejected the common Andal faith of the Seven Kingdoms (we meet him as he burns statues of the most common gods in Westeros) and is taking council from a creepy Red Priestess named Melisandre. Stannis’ revelation to the world that King Joffrey is a child of incest provides the plot with its narrative energy. It’s an inconvenient fact that Stannis is sharing, as it makes the Lannister claim to the Iron Throne illegitimate.

The scene where Stannis is dictating the letter is probably my favorite in the episode. Stannis is a key player in the series, but he wasn’t introduced in season one so there’s a fair bit of “catching up” to do in terms of his characterization. His refusal to call King Robert his “beloved brother” (- “a harmless courtesy, my lord” -“a lie, take it out”) and his dithering on what to call Jaime (“Jaime Lannister the King Slayer, call him what he is”… “Ser Jaime Lannister the King Slayer, whatever else he may be, he’s still a knight”) perfectly conveys Stannis comically severe sense of the laws of the land.

Also at Dragonstone, we get our last big omen in the episode in the burning of “the Seven” and Melisandre’s prophetic words, “the dead will rise in the North.” In sum, the omens tell of upheaval – from Summer to Fall, from Robert to Joffrey, and from a world where Magic is dead, to one where long-held truths have become suspect. Melisandre’s drinking of Maester Cressen’s poison, and her ability to drink it without coming to any harm while the Maester himself collapses, is only the second explicitly magical occurrence (in the non white-walker category) in the series thus far, and it’s treated with due weight.

From Dragonstone we travel to the Stark camp in the North, where Robb has received Stannis’ raven about Joffrey’s true origins, and goes to confront Ser Jaime Lannister the Kingslayer (call him what he is!) about it, among other things. The show handled Robb’s subtle ability to control his direwolf (to summon him when offended, to beckon him towards Jaime with a pat on his back) in a coy, and very effective manner.

The interaction with Jaime aside, Robb’s plot-line serves mostly to put pieces in motion. He’s sending Theon Greyjoy to the Iron Islands to try and recruit his father’s old enemy Balon Greyjoy as an ally. He’s also sending his mother to treat with Renly and he’s sending a Lannister cousin to make a lofty peace offer to the Iron Throne. I found the conversation between Theon and Rob, along with the discussion between Rob and Catelyn to be a bit wooden. But it’s a minor quibble in a very strong episode, and I’m sure much of the audience won’t even notice – they’ll still be hyperventilating from the interaction between Robb and Jaime.

The show finally returns to King’s Landing, to end its tour of the entirety of the Seven Kingdoms (seemingly) where the episode began. Cersei spars verbally with Littlefinger in a memorable sequence; while she’s unarmed herself, gives Baelish a crystal clear display of where she believes power lies. That sort of courtly conversation, filled with double entendres (and eunuch jokes) is the best of Game of Thrones as I see it. Tyrion’s rather boring conversation with Shae aside, the scenes in King’s Landing are historically the strongest in the series, and that’s a trend that definitely continued tonight.

Finally, we get to the shocking conclusion of the premiere episode, as the Lannisters react to Stannis’ letter by mass-murdering all of Robert’s base-born bastard children. And what better way to dramatize such a sequence than with a deeply disturbing infanticide montage! Even if you know, as all readers of the series do, that the murder of Robert’s bastards is coming – it can’t prepare you for watching the Lord Commander Janos Slynt stab a baby on television (even if the stabbing itself takes place off camera). It’s a characteristically unsettling sequence, and a heavy handed reminder of the all-encompassing danger of Martin’s world, and the high stakes of “the Game” being played.

So, Game of Thrones is back! Having gone out of its way to re-familiarize the audience with all of the characters and settings (while introducing a few new ones) in the first episode, I expect future episodes should be able to “focus in” a bit more on individual storylines. That “The North Remembers” didn’t have that luxury, and still produced an extremely satisfying hour of television, is a very good omen for this second season.

The much anticipated second season of HBO’s serialized adaptation of George R.R. Martin’s well loved novels debuts this weekend on HBO Canada. We’ve seen the first four episodes of the upcoming season, and there’s a lot that fans of the series will be happy about for this second go around.

In introducing a handful of new characters, new locales, and juggling an increasingly disparate set of plot-lines, the narrative focus in the second season has some serious heavy lifting to do. And for the most part, these challenges are deftly handled by showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss. The second season nails the most important special effects, and succeeds despite a continued over-reliance on gratuitous sex.

The first season of the series concluded with a “transit” episode of sorts, and that’s where the first episode of season two picks up. Last season the show was able to be more self-contained, Tyrion’s adventures crisscrossing the continent aside, the show basically moved from Winterfell to King’s Landing while occasionally jumping around to deal with arcs involving Daenerys and Jon Snow. This season, with Jon headed north of the Wall, Dany headed west across the Red Waste, Arya travelling back to Winterfell, multiple armies camped all across the continent, and all of the goings on at court in King’s Landing, the plot has exponentially increased in breadth.

In the first episode (airing this Sunday), the show takes a “Pole-to-Pole” approach, and uses the device of a portentous comet to reintroduce us to all of the various characters and settings. In the subsequent episodes, there are characters who are entirely absent for several episodes at a time, and reappear with a major arc a bit later in the season. That’s an inevitability when dealing with a story of this scope, and to the showrunners’ credit they manage to introduce new characters and find time for some rich characterization all while dealing with the unwieldy demands of the story.

I suspect that if a viewer had missed season one, they’d have a difficult time getting “hooked” by jumping in at the premiere of the second season. As stand-alone episodes, I’m not sure any of the four I’ve seen really worked, so if you haven’t seen the television series and are entirely unfamiliar with the books – start at season one, or you’ll be all kinds of confused.

As the level of magic begins to be turned up in the series, fans have been anxious to see how the show would handle the dragons and the direwolves going forward. We suspect that our advanced copies of the episodes weren’t colour corrected and I’m pretty sure the frame-rate hasn’t been lowered yet, however, the dragons and in particular the direwolves looked awesome, and are used quite liberally. Clearly the show prioritized getting those visual effects right, and from what I’ve seen, they absolutely knocked it out of the park.

Let’s get to the question of how the series dramatizes “sex,” because the first season was criticized in some high-profile corners for descending to Spartacus levels of hollow titillation. Granted, the Song of Ice and Fire novels had their fair share of graphic sex scenes, but the first season was strikingly reliant on sex to spice up the show’s exposition. Two of the most insightful soliloquies for example (one from Viserys and another from Little Finger) took place while the characters were having, or watching intercourse. Incidentally, the only character unique to the television series is a frequently nude prostitute named Ros.

There’s a few scenes in particular that take place in Littlefingers brothel in King’s Landing where the over-the-top reliance on sex continues and one scene almost descends into parody. It begins with a man peeping in on some paid copulation, then cuts to another character peeping in on the first peeping tom and reveals that a peep show wasn’t enough for this particular customer. It’s silly, and I’m not sure it adds much to the overall texture of the show. It’s almost as if the nudity is sugar that’s being added to the Buckley’s Cough Syrup (which in this ill-fitting metaphor is the fantasy genre) simply to make the concoction more palatable for mainstream viewers.

What’s more interesting, though, is that the show chooses to dramatize and sensationalize the sex lives of several main characters. In doing so the show opens several character’s kimonos, so to speak, beyond what Martin describes in the novels. Several of these adaptive choices are very successful, and a couple are awkward and needless – though in fairness, all of it is consistent with Martin’s original characterizations.

Where the books had the luxury of being more geopolitical in focus, that’s difficult to do with a cable TV serial, which, by necessity must deal more with the personal aspects of the respective characters. One of those personal aspects are the sex lives of certain characters, and much like in the first season with the love scenes between Renly and Loras, Benioff and Weiss have decided to show us more of what is implied, but never described by Martin.

Along with the added sex scenes, there are episodes from the novel that are truncated to meet the needs of adapting a thousand page tome into a ten hour television series. Only one of these changes struck me as a missed opportunity, while I quite enjoyed several of the uniquely imagined scenes.

Overall the colourful, pointed, and courtly conversations at King’s Landings are a highlight, as is the handling of the new Davos, Melisandre, Stannis plot-line. The show cleverly conveys Stannis’ rigidness early on (hilariously so), while Davos’ basic decency and Melisandre’s creepiness are both executed flawlessly. Brienne hasn’t been given much to do (yet) in the episodes I’ve seen, but the role is really well-cast and that’s probably half the battle for the character.

From what we’ve seen Game of Thrones should handily retain its crown as the most ambitious series on television. The sheer difficulty of the attempt results in an often flawed series, but it’s a truly unique product and a consistently riveting one.

With the season two premiere of HBO’s epic fantasy series Game of Thrones just a little over two weeks away, fan expectations are running extremely high. HBO’s small screen adaptation of George R. R. Martin’s popular A Song of Ice and Fire series had a thunderous first season that will be hard to top. Thanks to strong word of mouth the popularity of the show has grown exponentially since the end of the first season.

Last week (after touring Game of Thrones: The Exhibition) we were fortunate enough to speak with actress Michelle Fairley, who plays Winterfell matriarch Cateyln Stark on Game of Thrones. As the now widow of Lord Eddard Stark (Sean Bean), Cateyln must put aside her grief in order to help her son, Robb – now King in the North – wage war against and attempt to make peace with other claimants to the Iron Throne.

We discussed the series, her character’s headspace at the beginning of this season, Fairley’s favourite season two characters, what the future holds for Catelyn Stark, and more!

Viewers beware: there are potential season two spoilers throughout the interview.